The Shroud of Turin :: By Jim Towers

While perusing the internet for interesting subject matter that pertains to Christianity, I stumbled upon (or did God direct me to) a video about the “Shroud of Turin,” a Christian relic that has been scrutinized over and over by scientists in the recent past.

As time went by, each time the shroud was investigated, it was done with newer and newer technology which never really confirmed its origins. At first, it was thought of as a painting done by some religious artist. Later, the shroud itself was tested by taking a small piece to test, which proved it wasn’t of that period. All the while, Satan must have been laughing. But it was later proven that the small patch that was taken from the shroud was a piece of foreign material used to patch an area burned by a fire…. Duh.

The results of these tests were published in many notable magazines and other periodicals worldwide; one of these was National Geographic which had Jane Goodall and her gorillas in every other publication since the mid-fifties. When she didn’t appear, an egotistical Egyptologist so and so was next to appear, and now we know more about Egypt than any other place on planet Earth.

Over the years, we would get another glimpse of the Shroud of Turin and the advances made in validating it with the latest technology. (Satan has quit laughing and has now turned his attention to promoting sexual deviancy since it is humanity’s main weakness, and now transsexualism and sexual grooming for pedophilia rule the day everywhere.)

Enter modern advances in photography and micro-optics, and the very latest finding is that the Shroud of Turin relic is what most Christians hoped it was. The burial shroud of Jesus of Nazareth, “King of the Jews.” Halleluiah!

Using the very latest technology, it can be affirmed with stop-action camera technology that incremental sequences of Jesus rising from the dead can be seen using the latest cameras, much like the visual transition of our superheroes in today’s movies. Little by little, his head rises, then the shoulders, followed by the rest of His body. Then “Poof,” he breaks through the fabric and its bindings. He rises from the dead – just as He said He would!

Therefore, I deem it a great honor to announce that the Shroud of Turin is truly the burial shroud of our Savior, Christ Jesus.

Now (drum roll) for the final act in this all-important drama for believers and followers in Christ and even skeptics.

The Shroud was dissected into microscopic squares on a plate glass to photograph each one with the very latest atomic camera capturing a faint image of a note just under the bearded chin of Christ pasted on his upper chest by a Roman guard which reads, “Jesus of Nazareth, crucified for insurrection against the Roman government.” (According to Roman law, this was done to remind everyone the tortuous death of anyone defying the Roman Government, as well as confirm the offender’s death after a pulse was taken to make sure the crucified person was dead before tossing the body into an open pit along with decaying other bodies.

With this revelation, it appears that God is working overtime to affirm His presence to a perverse and dying world.

The bad news, if you can call it that, is that we are indeed living in the end times. Ahh, but what a time to be alive and to be expecting to be raptured away at any given moment.

As for the rest of America, this psalm sounds like it was meant for them.

“O GOD, You have cast us off; You have broken us down; You have been displeased; Oh restore us again! You have made the earth tremble; You have broken it; Heal its breaches, for it is shaking. You have shown Your people hard things; You have made us drink the wine of confusion. You have given a banner to those who fear You, that it may be displayed because of the truth. Selah” (Psalm 60:1-4).

Indeed, we are living in perilous times for having despised God and His only begotten Son. Biblical prophecy is being fulfilled at an alarming rate, and today it seems that the Hologram of the Beast is ready to take center stage even while the one-world monetary system is being proposed and readied by those who desire a one-world government. Meanwhile, the war of Gog and Magog is also being set up by those who hate Israel. All that remains is that the church be taken up in the rapture for the league of nations to be able to coalesce and strike the match that begins that war.

In fact, many who should know are saying that World War three is imminent and might even happen yet this very year. Will a world leader be assassinated to spark this war?

Because the Democrats are so determined to keep President Trump from running again, is his life in peril? Everyone who doesn’t like him wishes him dead.

The last three Christian books I’ve read, which were published recently, were not worth bothering with. They all contained things that have been rehashed over and over to the extent that we should all be experts by now about all things Christian.

Nevertheless, we should always be on the alert for signs of the imminent rapture of the church. For example, hail the size of golf balls in Florida and hail the size of grapefruit in Texas, plus the largest upcoming gathering of Satan worshipers ever in Boston.


Jim Towers

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