We are in a fight for the souls of our men, sisters of mine. Todd knows why I am writing this article – one of my dear friends is caught in the death grip of a sex addiction. He is going to die at age 60 – just like Solomon did—unless the situation gets changed around rapidly.
Do you know what an STD is? You think you do. You think it stands for “sexually transmitted disease.” And it does. But not in this context. Here, it stands for Solomon Tribe Disease. We all know that Solomon had all the wisdom in the world literally given to him directly from God.
Solomon’s proverbs contain heavy, grave warnings about not giving in to adultery, fornication, prostitution, “the seductress,” mindless sexual encounters, and so on. And also staying with your wife, keeping her as your sole source of sexual satisfaction, loving her, and generally being in a monogamous, loving, yet sexy marriage.
But what happened to Solomon? Sadly, he didn’t follow his own advice. He took on literally hundreds of wives, concubines, ‘girl friends’ or whatever you want to call them. Talk about a booty call every single night! It wasn’t a good fun thing. It literally wore him out. It ruined his health, his spirituality, and his life. It took his life. It turned him away from the one true God, and over to worshipping the gods of his women.
Solomon had a severe sex addiction. So sad. What can we learn from that?
Ladies, sisters of mine – I am talking to you now. We need to support our fellow Christian brothers and husbands and sons as they bravely battle the evil forces of this world that are so arrayed against them. Every single day they must say ‘no’ to temptations bombarding them from all directions.
Work, co-workers, bosses, the Internet, the television, the media, their cell phones, their pads and computers, the print magazines – everywhere, all the time now, 24-7, they are being lured by the world into straying away from their wives (or fiancees or exclusive girlfriends), and into mindless sexual encounters that will ultimately wreck their lives and destroy their marriages.
They are also being tempted into other, non-sexual (but just as bad) sins such as overeating, raging, dirty talking, overworking or exercising too much, spending money to keep up with the other guys, and so much, much more.
For your wives out there – we need to ramp it up and bring it for our brave, valuable, loving Christian men. We must get strong for them. We must get a backbone, stronger ankle bones to strengthen our weak legs, gird up our thighs, get a brain in our heads and a head on our firmly-set shoulders. We need to support them in every way we can and be the partner that God intended us to be for them.
We need to stop shopping on the internet, stop listening to our girlfriends, stop watching reality TV and trying to emulate those vile and sadly lost people, stop complaining about our men, get healthy, and be attractive for our Christian men if at all possible.
I am not talking about changing over night. I am talking about taking up your battle swords and putting on your Ephesians raiment, taking a firm stance, and saying, “NO – not on my watch. My precious Christian man and loving husband will NOT be taken away from me by some satanic-inspired sex addition and lose his precious self and me and my family with it. NO!”
But we can’t just do it in words and thought we have to do it in deed. Stop demanding that he fulfill all your ‘needs’ right now and start BEING the woman he WANTS to fulfill, without you asking him to. He does love you. He does want to be with you exclusively. But, his own needs are not getting met by whatever it is YOU ARE DOING.
Yes, I am calling you out on it. I know you are going to say that HE needs to change first. But ladies, it will not work that way if you don’t at least take a shot at being the first to change regardless of him and his so-called “faults” of which, I am sure, he has many. Not denying that.
But, the spiral and merry-go-round simply cannot stop, if one of you doesn’t at least get a grip on yourself, put aside your own pain and anger and hurt, and say, “you know what? Yes I am hurting. Yes he is hurting me by what he is doing.
But, I love him enough to, first, say that I want to try to deal with this head-on no matter what; and second, I know I have faults and I want to take a cold hard look at what I myself am doing wrong and I want to start to change—FOR HIM. HE is worth it and my family is worth it and I am going to do it, not just talk about doing it, no matter how much it “feels’ like it hurts.”
The dearly departed Nancy Missler who is mercifully home with the Lord, wrote a book called “Why Should I be the First To Change”. I won’t go into it here but that is a great book to read for a start. She does not to my recall talk about sex addiction in there but conceptually, it is germane to what I am trying to say to you out there. Go read it if you think it will help you (and it probably will).
Ok enough said sisters. Please understand that I am not insensitive to all of your own hurts, whatever abuse you have suffered or whatever causes you to be overweight, domineering, tired looking at times, not feeling like doing things he wants or for him, wanting to shop and buy nice clothes, stuff for the kids, tired of carpool, diaper changing, or whatever.
That is part of the problem, it is serious and yes you are justified in your feelings and actions – to a certain extent. But the enemy is against both of you, not just you. So if you don’t be the one to start to try to make some changes, the enemy might successfully steal your man. And that is UNACCEPTABLE to me ladies!
So, please know that I stand as a prayer warrior with you, as your fellow -sister-in-Christ and sister-in-arms to pray down help from heaven to get our men back with us and out of the clutches of the evil one, and to give us the strength and courage to do our part not just in words and prayer but in real changes that we begin to make in our own selves, so our men will WANT to come running back into our open, welcoming, warm, loving arms, and get back to the relationship God wanted us to have in the first place and all along.
Satisfying, loving, warm, sexy marriage and joyous peaceful fun loving family. Doesn’t that sound good? That is OUR GOD! That is what HE WANTS FOR US CHRISTIAN MEN AND WOMEN! Let’s go show Him we want to do our part to enjoy this precious gift of our Christian man that he has given into our arms. Christian Men are worth it!
Thank you. God bless you all.
Kay Eastman