How do you tame a tongue? Why does it need taming? We live in a time when people have little respect for themselves or others and use all manner of filthy language and angry words.
A few days ago, my daughter and I were shopping, and an acquaintance of hers, a young man, came up and talked with her about duck eggs. The language that came out of his mouth was quite offensive. He had no respect for my daughter as a young woman, nor for me as an old woman. Sadly, this isn’t a unique incident; it’s quite the norm for people to use vulgar words as if they are acceptable. It’s bad enough in the secular world, but this same vile language is also heard among Christians.
“If any man among you seem religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceive his own heart, this man’s religion is vain” (James 1:26).
These are wise words from James. Our tongue allows us to taste food as well as to speak. Why should we use such an amazing part of our anatomy for vulgar purposes? We should use it to build up others and encourage fellow Christians. We should use our tongue to praise God in words and in song. Our tongue needs to be tamed and brought under control.
Does your tongue deny the very faith you profess? Maybe you don’t use offensive language, but do you tell off-color jokes to your friends in the office break room? Do you use your tongue to speak gossip about others? Is your tongue reflecting what’s in your heart? If so, then you need to examine your heart and draw closer to Jesus.
The Apostle Peter always seems to be an example of speaking whatever came into his mind. Sometimes he said the right thing, and that shows the change Jesus was working in him. When Jesus asked His disciples what people said about Him, they gave Him some general answers.
“And they said some say that thou art John the Baptist; some, Elias; and others, Jeremias, or one of the prophets” (Matthew 16:14).
That’s similar to people today. Many people, including professing Christians, know the name but don’t know who He truly is. They will use His name as a swear word but don’t realize that Jesus Christ is God. Using His name as a cuss word shows you have no respect for who He is and what He did for you.
When Jesus asked the disciples who people said He was, He heard their answer but wanted a deeper understanding from the men who followed Him, the ones He would entrust with sharing the Gospel. He wants a deeper understanding from us today, too.
“He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am?” (Matthew 16:15).
Jesus asks you that same question. It’s important that you know exactly who He is. Peter had the right answer. “And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16).
Peter used his tongue to speak truth, and Jesus commended Him for it. “And Jesus answered and said unto him, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee but my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 16:17).
Jesus was well pleased with Peter, and told him that this confession of truth is the foundation…the rock…that the church would be built upon. Jesus is the Rock, and you must believe Jesus is “…the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Use your tongue to praise Him and share the Gospel with others. Don’t use your tongue to tell lies, spread gossip, or mock Jesus. Praise Him in word and song.
Words are important, and Peter was learning to tame his tongue. He had been rash on many occasions, and having been a fisherman by trade, I’m sure his words were often rough and foul. Jesus changed him, just as He will change you, if you allow it.
“For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it” (1 Peter 3:10-11).
Maybe Peter was like us and his words were influenced by the friends he was with. We all need to be in the world so that we can be a good witness for Christ, but we can’t allow the world to influence us. Peter learned and allowed Jesus to change him. All of us have much to learn, but controlling our words is a good first step. If you follow the ways of the world, you will compromise your walk with Jesus.
The Apostle Paul also had much to overcome in his life in order to be the leader God knew he would be. Paul was known as Saul when we first read of him in Acts. He held the coats of the men who stoned Stephen; he wasn’t a very nice man. As we read more, we see that his hatred for Christians drove him to do evil against them.
“And Saul, yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord, went unto the high priest, And desired of him letters to Damascus to the synagogues, that if he found any of this way, whether they were men or women, he might bring them bound unto Jerusalem” (Acts 9:1-2).
He used his words to persuade the Jewish religious leaders to allow him to arrest Christians. When Paul met Jesus, his life was utterly changed. He totally surrendered his life to Jesus and became the example of what a missionary and a preacher should be. Paul’s sin had been great, but he was forgiven. Whatever sin you have in your life isn’t too big to be forgiven. Paul tamed his tongue and used his words to share the Gospel, and all these many centuries later, we still draw encouragement and wisdom from his words. He encouraged prayer…talking with God.
“I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men” (1 Timothy 2:1).
Do you pray for all men? Even those whom you don’t like? I have the names of a few people I know whom I pray for every day. They each have a specific need, some for healing, some for salvation, some for guidance, some for comfort. Because I care about these people, I pray for them. Bully for me. Do I pray for people I don’t particularly care for? People who may have used their untamed tongue to hurt me? I have to confess that I seldom do. Shame on me.
“I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting” (1 Timothy 2:8).
Pray for your wives, your husbands, your children, your leaders, your parents, your friends, your enemies. Prayer is talking with God. Use your tongue to speak boldly but humbly to the God of all Creation, and sing praises to Him. Then use your ears to listen to His answer.
James had some deep insight into the trouble with an untamed tongue. “And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame: it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:6-8).
James speaks as a man who has experienced the wrath of an untamed tongue. Was he the recipient of verbal abuse, or was he the one who was the bully? James went on to reveal further truth.
“Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God” (James 3:9).
That describes most of us. We sit in pews and pray, seeming very righteous, but then we gossip about others as soon as we leave the worship service. We all say things we regret, and James is clear that taming the tongue is not easy. I’ve learned over time that it’s better to keep quiet rather than hurt people with my words. It isn’t always easy, especially when someone is using words against me. That’s when I need to seek God and pray for Him to guide my own words. I need to pray for those who hurt my feelings, and ask Him to forgive me for the times I’ve hurt others.
Jesus told us the best way to handle it when we are persecuted. “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you” (Matthew 5:11-12).
If you’re a Christian, you will be the focus of persecution at times. You can be sure that worse insults and persecution were directed at Jesus, but He forgave those who mocked Him. Study His life, and pray to be more like Him. We will never be perfect by our own efforts, but day by day, the Holy Spirit will guide us all to a closer walk with our Lord.
King David must have been a special person, and his love for God still guides us today. His heart was to please God, and when he failed, he repented. He wrote many psalms regarding persecution.
“[[A Psalm of David.]] Fret not thyself because of evildoers, neither be thou envious against the workers of iniquity. For they shall soon be cut down like the grass, and wither as the green herb. Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed” (Psalm 37:1-3).
Let God deal with those who come against you. You cannot change them, but God can. Bridle your tongue and pray for them. If you dwell on the sins of others, you only hinder your own walk with the Lord.
“Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil” (Psalm 37:8).
You can only give yourself to God and allow Him to change you. Don’t allow your own feelings of anger at the words and actions of others to come between you and Jesus.
“The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment. The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide” (Psalm 37:30-31).
We are righteous only through the blood of Jesus. When we study Scripture, we will walk closer to Him, and our words will reflect His righteousness. David’s words are timeless and his wisdom is from God.
Solomon also understood the need for a tamed tongue. “These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren” (Proverbs 6:16-19).
An untamed tongue leads to more actions that bring dishonor to God. Once again, we can learn from Paul. “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Taking your thoughts captive and giving them to Jesus will help you tame your tongue. If you don’t think evil, your tongue won’t speak evil. “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles” (Proverbs 21:23).
Remember, you can only control your own thoughts and your own tongue. Be forgiving and speak gentle God-honoring words.
The Proverbs 31 woman has many good qualities. She is the mother of King Lemuel, but who is he? Many have speculated that the mother is Bathsheba and that Lemuel is a pet name she had for Solomon. Others speculate that Lemuel was actually a pagan king. The mystery may never be fully resolved, and the description of a “virtuous woman” is difficult to live up to.
“She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12).
Well, that’s the way a wife should treat her husband, but many wives have little respect for their husbands. The chapter goes on to describe a very hard-working woman who is a wonderful wife and mother. She buys land and plants vineyards, spins wool, cares for the poor and needy, and makes clothing for her family and herself. She is very intimidating! In my opinion, one of her best qualities is “Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:25-26).
She has tamed her tongue and speaks words of wisdom and kindness.
As Christians, we must tame our tongues and use our words to honor God. He has given us everything, and we need to praise Him every day. I’ve heard so many people lament that their prayers bounce off the ceiling and never reach God’s ears. My question is, do you honor Him with your words, or do you complain that He just hasn’t done enough for you? Praise Him more, lift your hands in worship and praise. Let your words honor Him before all people. Tame your tongue and bring your thoughts into captivity unto the Lord.
God bless you all,
Nathele Graham
Recommended prophecy sites:
www.raptureready.com
www.prophecyupdate.com
www.raptureforums.com
All original scripture is “theopneustos,” God-breathed.
If you would like to be on my mailing list to receive the commentaries, just drop me an email and let me know.
“Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee” (Psalm 122:6).