Notes of a Brokenhearted Mother: Part 3 :: By Candy Austin

Back in 2012, when our Oldest literally went ‘viral’ in her rebellion, the heart of this Mother fell into a ‘deep depression,’ and to be honest, I do not think I have ever ‘recovered from’ it, even to this day. Just today, I found my little notebook that I would ‘feverishly write in’ that year whenever I had some free time at work. It helped so much to write scripture, quotes, and sayings that pertained to what I was going through.

This whole heartbreaking process has been more than a journey; it has been a life-altering experience to put it mildly. For those who may be going through the same or something similar, I thought I would share my notes in a series of articles to hopefully be a comfort or some type of help in a time of such emotional need. Throughout this process, I found God’s Word to be a type of a ‘healing balm’ to my soul, so here goes my friends.

(This piece is mostly scripture from the NIV that I ‘read at the time’ that I felt pertained to what I was going through, with a personal note at the end. Just ‘rewriting’ by typing this all out reminds me of those ‘rough first years’ and ministers to me all over again. Hope this can help someone in some way too.


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Father, thank You for the boundaries of life that protect us from sin and from ourselves. Give us the wisdom and grace to respond gratefully to Your Word in areas of danger and temptation. – Our Daily Bread

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.”

In the midst of his plenty, distress will overtake him; the full force of misery will come upon him. When he has filled his belly, God will vent his burning anger against him and rain down his blows on him. Though he flees from an iron weapon, a bronze-tipped arrow pierces him. He pulls it out of his back, the gleaming point out of his liver. Terrors will come over him; total darkness lies in wait for his treasures. A fire unfanned will consume him and devour what is left in his tent. The heavens will expose his guilt; the earth will rise up against him. A flood will carry off his house, rushing waters on the day of God’s wrath. Such is the fate God allots the wicked, the heritage appointed for them by God” (Job 20:22-29).

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“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14).

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (2 Cor. 4:17).

The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him. May your father and mother rejoice; may she who gave you birth be joyful!” (Proverbs 23:24-25).

“Do not gloat when your enemies fall; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice, or the Lord will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from them” (Prov. 24:17-18).

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“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace” (Eccl. 3:1-8).

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I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come: As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare, so people are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them” (Eccl. 9:11-12).

“For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil” (Eccl. 12:14).

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:10-13).

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“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you” (Isaiah 46:4).

“See, I am against you, you arrogant one,” declares the Lord, the Lord Almighty, ‘for your day has come, the time for you to be punished. The arrogant one will stumble and fall and no one will help her up; I will kindle a fire in her towns that will consume all who are around her.’ This is what the Lord Almighty says” (Jer. 50:31-33).

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“Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. They have become filled w/ every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant, and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them” (Romans 1:28-32).

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“But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed. God ‘will repay everyone according to what they have done.’ To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor, and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism” (Romans 2:1-11).

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“But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Jesus Christ. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood – to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished – he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus” (Romans 3:21-26).

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“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:1-5). 

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Dear Candy,

I want you to know you’re a Child of God first and foremost, and God’s Holy Spirit is with you and in you. You have tried with everyone, and it’s not your fault when they make choices that cause broken relationships. Their choices are not your fault. They have free will and choose to do things that are not in line with God’s Word. You choose to honor God; and the only opinion that matters is Abba Father God’s opinion. In all things don’t be anxious but pray and know that Jesus is with you every step of the way.

With some like your parents, you will have to love them from a distance. With some like your children, you will have to pray spiritual warfare prayers for them. With some like your in-laws and relatives, you have to choose to forgive and give them over to God. Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy, the accuser of the brethren, the enemy of our souls… everything is not your fault. Jesus died to save you, and His Blood covers all your sins.

He loves you with an everlasting love. You are forgiven, dearly beloved, redeemed, justified, and soon will be glorified in Heaven with your Abba Father forever. Choose to forgive and pray for your enemies and all the loved ones that persecute you.

(I am with you every step of the way and I will never leave you nor forsake you. I love you with an everlasting love. Keep watch, pray always that you be accounted worthy to escape all the things to come and to stand before the Son of Man.)  

Maranatha!  In Jesus Name, Amen!


Looking back on my notes, I remember this as a time when I could not bring myself to pray for my enemies; and if I did pray for them, it was as the prayers of King David asking God to bring ‘swift justice’ upon them! Now I realize this scripture to be true for me in my life (Psalm 119:71 “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.”) Like I said at the beginning, this process has been more than a journey; it has been a life-altering experience in growing in Grace through immense internal suffering.

My prayer is that this may help someone in a time of emotional need like it did me. In Jesus Christ’s Name, Amen. Finally, an excerpt that spoke to me from the ‘Prince of Preachers’ notes that I read recently during our Bible Study that I would like to share as well.

KJV Charles Spurgeon Study Bible Notes

1 Samuel 30:6 “And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God.”

Study Notes Excerpt:

“If there is anything in this world for which I would bless him more than for anything else, it is for pain and affliction. I am sure that in these things the richest, most tender love has been manifested toward me. Love letters from heaven are often sent in black-edged envelopes. The cloud that is black with horror is big with mercy. – Charles Spurgeon

Until next time… Maranatha!


Jesus Will Come!