Things to Ponder 5

Why does your nose run, but your feet smell?

Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don’t they wear a pair of bras?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream?

Why is the word ‘abbreviation’ so long?

If a cow laughs, does milk come out of its nose?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

What is the speed of dark?

Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATMs?

What’s another word for ‘synonym’?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what person said, “Quit while you’re ahead?”

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?