The Pope Takes Over The Wheel

The Pope had just finished a tour of the east coast and was taking a limo to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur didn’t have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel.

The Pope proceeds onto Hwy 95 and starts accelerating to see what the limo could do. He gets to about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the blue lights of the state patrol in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper seeing who it was, says, “just a moment please, I need to call in”.

The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he’s got a REALLY important person pulled over, and ask how he should handle it.

“It’s not Ted Kennedy again, is it?” replies the chief.

‘No sir!” replied the trooper, “this guy’s more important.”

“Is it the governor?” replied the chief.

“No, even more important!” replies the trooper.

“Is it the PRESIDENT?” replied the chief.

“No, even more important!” replies the trooper.

“Well, who is it ?” screamed the chief.

“I don’t know sir,” replies the trooper, “but he’s got the Pope as his chauffeur.”

True Friends

There was a guy who was going to die and wanted to try to take his money with him. So he told three of his friends: a doctor, a preacher and an attorney what he wanted to do and gave each one an envelope with $10,000 in it. Of course, his friends thought he had gone over the deep end, but being good friends they agreed to place the envelopes with the money into their friend’s coffin at his funeral.

Weeks passed by until one day the guy passed away. And just as the three friends had promised, they attended the funeral and layed their envelopes into the coffin. One by one they approached the coffin and layed their envelope on their friend’s chest: first the doctor, then the preacher and finally the attorney.

A few more weeks passed by and the three friends decided to get together for lunch. They met for lunch, and they tried to avoid talking about their friend and his funeral, but finally the preacher spoke out. The preacher informed the other two that his conscience was bothering him because he took $3,000 dollars out of his envelope and donated it to a charity that needed the money. He asked for the other two to forgive him and insisted that he was sure their friend would have approved of his decision.

Upon hearing the preacher’s confession, the doctor informed his companions that his hospital was building a new wing, so he borrowed $5000 dollars from his envelope to donate to the hospital. He also insisted that their friend would have approved of his decision.

Finally, the attorney looked at both men in disgust and informed them that he knew that they would not hold up their part of the bargain. But he assured them that he had fore thought, and being the generous man that he was, had picked up all three envelopes from the coffin and replaced them with a personal check for the entire $30,000 dollars.