1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t on.
3. Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must have been going 125 mph just to keep up with me!
5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.
6. Bad cop! No donut!
7. You’re gonna check the trunk, aren’t you?
8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school instead.
9. I pay your salary.
10. That’s terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.
11. Is that a 9mm? It’s nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You’re a trained specialist?
13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.
14. That gut doesn’t inspire too much confidence; bet I can outrun you.
15. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
16. Is it true people become cops because they’re too dumb to work at McDonald’s?
17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.
18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around–That’s how far they are ahead of me.
19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.