SALESMAN — man with ability to convince wife she’d look fat in mink.
CANNIBAL — person who likes to see other people stewed.
FOREIGN FILM — any movie shown in Texas theater that isn’t a western.
MAGAZINE — bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue.
COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.
EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and places that deliver.
OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding he sings.
BUFFET: A French word that means “Get up and get it yourself.”
BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers.
TRAFFIC LIGHT — apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.
PIONEER — early American who was lucky enough to find his way out of the woods.
PEOPLE — some make things happen, some watch things happen, and the majority has no idea what’s happened.
SWIMMING POOL — a mob of people with water in it.
SELF-CONTROL — the ability to eat only one peanut.
TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.