Things to Ponder 2

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?

Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

The pen is mightier than the sword — if the sword is very small and the pen is real sharp.

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

How can there be self-help “groups”?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

How many weeks are there in a light year?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?

Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed?