Too Much Of The 21st Century

  1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
  2. You now think of three espressos as “getting wasted.”
  3. You haven’t played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
  4. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
  5. You call your son’s beeper to let him know it’s time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, “What’s for dinner?”
  6. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her website.
  7. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven’t spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
  8. You didn’t give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page.
  9. Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college roommate used to play.
  10. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
  11. You check your blow-dryer to see if it’s Y2K compliant.
  12. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
  13. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
  14. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.
  15. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
  16. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
  17. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
  18. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
  19. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
  20. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
  21. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
  22. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
  23. You’re reading this.
  24. Even worse… you’re going to forward it to someone else.