Plumber: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
Tire Shop: “Invite us to your next blowout.”
Psychic’s Hotline: “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”
Towing Company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.[toes.]”
Billboard on the side of the road: “Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.”
Nonsmoking Area: “If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
Maternity Room Door: “Push, Push, Push.”
Optometrists Office: “If you don’t see what your looking for you’ve come to the right place.”
Taxidermist’s Window: “We really know our stuff.”
Foot Doctors Office: “Time wounds all heels.”
Butchers Window: “Let me meat your needs.”
Muffler Shop: “No appointment necessary, we hear you coming.”
Hotel: “Help Wanted! We are looking for inn-experienced people.”
Veterinarians Waiting Room: “Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!”
Computer Store: “Out for a quick byte.”
Restaurant Window: “Don’t stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up.”
Bowling Alley: “Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.”
Funeral Home: “Drive carefully, we can wait.”
Counselors Office: “Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.”