The day and age in which we live brings many challenges. Being politically correct requires us to be biblically incorrect, and for a Christian that’s wrong. God’s Word is our authority in all things, so if the world dictates one course of action and the Bible another, always choose to follow the Bible. Today there’s a lot of contention over the roles of men and women.
Many women want to “rule the roost” and many men are happy to let them. By the world’s standards that’s understandable, but by God’s standards that’s not good. Brothers, God created you to be leaders in spiritual matters as well as the leaders of your household. This truth is evident throughout the Bible beginning in the Garden of Eden.
In the beginning, God created everything after its kind, but He made Adam in His own image. That means that Adam was special and very different from animals. The first responsibility that God gave to Adam was a spiritual one. God gave him only one commandment, but a very important one.
“And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.” (Genesis 2:16-17)
Eve hadn’t been created yet, but Adam received the commandment from God and had the responsibility to be sure she understood. Prior to the creation of Eve, the animals were brought before Adam and he named them, but this also showed him that animals were not proper companions for him. He needed a woman to be his companion and help him…he needed a wife. That’s why God created Eve. She was taken from Adam’s side and when he saw her he was impressed.
“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:23-24)
Brothers, choose a godly woman to be your wife and love her. Marriage is ordained of God and isn’t to be mocked.
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4)
If you are not married, then you are to be celibate. When you marry, then love your wife and lead her into a deeper love for God. Take your place as the spiritual leader in your house by studying God’s Word. Study with prayer and the Holy Spirit will open your eyes to God’s truth. Then apply that understanding to every part of your life. Study with your wife and lead her to a deeper understanding of God’s Word.
Don’t be ashamed to boldly stand on God’s truth. God is not the Author of chaos, but of order. It was God who established the roles of men and women, but the world tries to blur those roles. As the roles of Christian men and women get blurred, Christianity becomes watered down. Brothers and sisters, we all have responsibility to put Christ first in our life.
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” (Ephesians 5:22-2)
This verse can hit a raw nerve in men and women who don’t think their own role is important. This letter was written to Christians. Therefore the Christian man should understand his responsibility and not compare a Christian man’s way of life to someone who is secular. Brothers, Christ gave His life for His Bride because of the unselfish love He had. That’s how you are to love your wife.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” (Ephesians 5:25)
God loved imperfect sinners enough to die on the cross for us. Your love for Christ and your love for your wife reflects your love for yourself.
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” (Ephesians 5:28)
A wife cannot submit to a man who has no concept of Christ’s sacrificial love. Don’t abuse her verbally or physically. Brothers, you have a great responsibility, so honor God and love your wife. Your responsibility doesn’t stop with your love for your wife.
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)
Children represent the future. Ground your children on a firm foundation in Christ. Brothers, teach your sons to be men of God and your daughters to be godly women. Lead by example. Show your sons that you aren’t ashamed to honor God and love your wife. A boy looks to his father for guidance into manhood so don’t let your son down.
Your daughters, too, must be grounded in Christ so that they won’t marry a man who doesn’t honor God. If your daughter can look to you as the example of a loving husband, then she will choose a husband based on how he loves God and how he treats her. Love your children with a strong hand of discipline, but temper that with the love of Christ. Lead your children into their own relationship with Jesus. Then, they too, will teach their own children.
As Paul traveled on his missionary journeys he established congregations in various cities. He left men to lead these congregations along godly paths. It was important to Paul that these men understood the need to establish leadership. Titus was left in Crete and Paul gave him instructions.
“For this cause left I thee in Crete, that thou shouldest set in order the things that are wanting, and ordain elders in every city, as I had appointed thee: if any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; but a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.” (Titus 1:5-9)
Brothers, don’t be ashamed to cultivate these traits in your own life. Leaders in the ekklēsia are to be men of strong character, who aren’t afraid to stand firm on God’s ways. Crete was filled with pagan ways much like our world today, yet Paul makes note that the leaders in the congregation are to be men who are married to one wife and his children would also be faithful. Much is required of a Christian man even if he is not an elder, bishop, or preacher. There can be no compromise.
In today’s politically correct world, God-honoring men are hard to find. So are God-honoring women. God’s rules haven’t changed. God established both the leadership role of men and the one man/one woman marriage in the Garden of Eden, and He expects the same policies to remain today. There is no caveat saying that in five or six thousand years women will replace men in the order of things.
“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.” (Hebrews 13:8-9)
Brothers, you have a responsibility from God to be leaders in honoring God’s commands; loving your wife and raising your children to be obedient to God. Throughout the Bible men are the ones who God called to build an ark, establish a nation, lead the Israelites from captivity, and slay giants. Women are also used by God, as seen in Miriam, a prophetess, and Deborah who was a prophetess and judge of Israel. Queen Esther was brave and brought into the open a plot by Haman to destroy many Jews.
In the New Testament we see that Anna was a prophetess and the ministry of Jesus was helped by the many women who followed Him. It was Lydia who offered her home to be used by Paul while he was in Philippi and Paul also noted the faith of Timothy’s grandmother and mother as being a strong influence on the young pastor.
It wasn’t a man who could give birth to the Savior. The example of leadership, though is when Jesus chose twelve men to be given special teaching and to eventually be the Apostles who were entrusted with the gospel. In all things, Jesus is our example. His love for His creation is shown through His actions. He entered this world as a tiny baby and faced temptation as we all do.
“For in that he himself hath suffered being tempted, he is able to succour them that are tempted.” (Hebrews 2:18)
Brothers, go to Jesus in prayer when you’re tempted to turn away from the straight road of God’s truth. Don’t be ashamed to learn from God’s Word and to stand on His principles. Honor God by loving your wife, your children, and fellow Christians. Men, be bold in your walk with Christ. Lift Him in praise at home, at work, and in public.
“I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.” (1 Timothy 2:8)
There is a deep need in this fallen world for men who are not ashamed to live for Christ. Be that man of God who is not ashamed.
God bless you all,
Ron and Nathele Graham’s previous commentaries archived at https://www.raptureready.com/featured/graham/graham.html
All original Scripture is “theopneustos” (God breathed).