The “ME” in All of Us :: by Don Twobears

I have decided I would like to start a small “Fireside Chat” so to speak. So let’s imagine we are sitting in front of a fireplace and we have a nice warm fire going. We all have a really good cup of coffee in our hands and we are going to discuss some things we need to talk about, along with some Scripture passages.

You know, I have used the term, “It’s all about ME!” many, many, times in my articles. At times I believe most do not understand why I am using that term. This can get really involved, so I feel the need to examine it a bit more closely. Let’s not say this only happens to others and never to ourselves, because oddly enough, all of us deal with it whether we are paying any attention to it or not.

If we stop and look at it close enough, we see that this begins at birth. Everything in our tiny little world will either cause us discomfort or happiness and to that effect, a baby will giggle or cry. Mom and dad are spending all of their hours, every day and night, tending to the needs of the baby (in this case YOU).

When you’re hungry, you get fed, when dirty, you are changed, too warm or too cold, whatever the case—it is tended to by your parents. In essence, they are at your “beck and call” no matter the situation. By the time you reach your terrible twos… everything is “MINE!” I know the great majority of parents understand this and have experienced this for themselves. So the question is, when does this change, when do children see the world does not revolve around only them?

And as we know, once you get into the earlier school days, you learn to deal and play with others, that everything is not yours alone. Then you grow and see having others around, can be a lot of fun. But has the “Me” thing changed? Not really, you become concerned with how you dress and or how you act and look around others.

In the days and years to come, you find it important to put your, “Best foot forward” when dealing with others, but in the end, you are still concerned with just yourself. It may be getting that one really good job and making a good income, having nice things. So if we look closely, it is still “All about ME!”

It would appear, for many at least, that the formative years are a “hot bed” of contradictions                   for the later years in life. It could be anything from being the “middle kid” in the family to sometimes being the only kid in the family, but suffice it to say, it can be almost anything.           Somehow or some way, we get confused, we “think” things should be one way yet life shows us that they are all together another way.

At this point, let’s not look at things like schizophrenia or the like, that is an entirely different situation. Let’s keep looking at every day folk, with everyday problems.

Most everyone looks in the mirror and sees a wonderful person, good-looking, smart, with a great personality thinking that he or she should be the prom queen or king. Come on now, let’s be honest here. Sadly, for this world, this is seldom the case and one must learn to deal with loosing. For the select few that are chosen, they “should” learn to be graceful in winning. Once again, whether losing or winning, there is that stigma about “ME” in every case and for some this is a game changer in life.

For a select few, there is just too much drama in all of it…right? Yet what are they really feeling, deep down in their heart of hearts? Of course, everyone wants to win, everyone wants to be the best and it doesn’t matter what this is in—prom queen/king, football, whatever. The point is, it does matter. Therefore, that “ME” thing is alive and well in each of us. What is so odd, it never leaves any of us, no matter how old or young we are; it is a matter that is very personal to all of us because we are individuals…with our own hearts and minds.

What does the Bible say?

Romans 12:1-8: “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: butbe ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, NOT to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office: So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith; Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching; Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.”

This is where everything gets a little sticky, right? What happens in your heart when you are not picked to be prom queen/king, or the best at football (whatever the case may be)? Actually, it is not surprising to anyone. One must look beneath all the glitz to find the real root of the problem.

If one is not chosen for such honors, what of their “self-worth?” In other words a person’s “personal integrity” of how they view themselves in the present tense. What does the heart of the young girl say that just misses being the prom queen or the young guy that just misses being team captain?

It is by no means, a stretch to think of the myriad of things that can take place, by “just barely missing.” Self worth then takes a serious nose-dive. What is odd to note, this could have long-range effects. Essentially, it’s a severe “slap in the face” and can be a devastation to the ME, in the individual.

By the same token, what about those who are consistently picked to win? Would it be a stretch to think that they have unusually high expectations of themselves? Maybe they think their beauty or handsomeness is far above all the others. How will they deal with these “feelings” down the line? Will they always WIN?

And when the winning slowly goes away, how will they feel about themselves—their outlook on ME? How many prom queens/kings or maybe pageant winners, have grown old? Or Hollywood stars for that matter, does grace abound with them? For some yes, for most, no!

Let’s look at the above passage of Scripture again and see. Most born-again Christians already know what humility already is, because we bow before an Almighty Lord and God. We also know that everything about us is wrapped up in the perfect will of our Father in heaven. So now the question is this:

How important are these “wins and losses” and what should be the effect they have on our lives? It must be understood, this is about the “ME” in all of us and that phrase: “It’s all about ME” is still alive and well everywhere we go. We are all Individuals that must survive in a society of many “Me’s.”

We will continue this topic in the next article, and if anyone would like to chime in on this subject, please feel free to do so. My email is listed below.