I’m sure you’ve heard ad nauseum that the ‘blockbuster’ movie Fifty Shades of Grey, based on the book of the same name, will be released on Valentine’s Day. Aww. How sweet. Yes honey, take me to a romantic dinner, get me some flowers, maybe some chocolates–then we can overpay to watch fantasy characters have two hours and four minutes of sado/masochistic sex on the big screen. And when we get home, you can beat the hell out of me for your own selfish pleasure.
Hey, nothing says ‘I love you’ like violent porn!
There isn’t a Christian on this planet that has any business seeing this tripe, but you KNOW the theaters will be packed. Be careful…you just might run into someone from church! Pornography is a huge vice in the church today; kind of like the thong-wearing elephant in the room no one wants to talk about.
Porn has been clinically proven to be just as addictive as hard drugs. Why? It’s due to a chemical in the brain called Dopamine. That is the chemical responsible for feelings of pleasure, rewards, motivation, desire, cravings, sexual arousal, and is also the main player in the establishment of addiction.
When a person watches highly sexual images, the brain is flooded with Dopamine, causing a rush of intense pleasure. The problem is, the brain gets used to all that warm, fuzzy Dopamine and soon begins to become desensitized to the effects of the chemical. Like heroin or crack, it takes more and more of the stimuli, porn, to achieve the same level of ‘high.’
This is the reason most porn junkies need to view increasing volumes of material, as well as higher levels of violence and/or perversion, in order to enjoy that same Dopamine high they’re used to. Long-time porn users usually end up getting hooked on rape scenes, sadistic/masochistic scenarios and sometimes, they dive headlong into the really kinky stuff of pedophilia or bestiality.
As with any other addiction, there is a grave psychological and relational price to pay which affects those closest to the user. The individual begins to display classic addictive behaviors such as defensiveness, anger, guilt, sneaking around, making demands, stealing or moving money to hide pornography purchases, etc. The normal sex life of the individual ends up being extremely unsatisfying, because real-live people simply can’t compete with the scripted fantasy of professional actors, lighting, makeup, plastic body parts and faked expressions of pleasure.
The spouse of a porn addict doesn’t stand a chance of enjoying a mature, loving, sexual relationship either. They commonly endure frequent comparisons to the unrealistic images in the addict’s mind, causing them to suffer emotional/mental abuse, degradation, criticism, low self-esteem, depression and hopelessness. Many times, the addicted partner makes their life a living hell due to the rage of not having the over-sexualized partner of their dreams.
Don’t get me wrong here. I’m no prude by a long shot! I’m all for a healthy, playful, mutually satisfying sex life between husband and wife. As long as no one is abused or coerced into acts they find offensive or degrading; as long as there are no third parties involved, which includes porn; as long as both partners are respected and satisfied, it’s ALL fair game in my book.
If the above rules are adhered to, quite frankly it’s none of anyone’s business what loving married couples do in bed. But this kind of safety and respect isn’t what’s portrayed in this movie. First of all, these characters are not married, committed life partners. Secondly, the female character really isn’t interested in the rough sex, domination, fear and literal physical pain the male inflicts on her.
She goes along with his demands and desires because she is dazzled by his looks, charm, sexuality, money and powerful position in business. He’s the worst kind of narcissist and she reluctantly surrenders her power to be his plaything and punching bag. She endures what he dishes out because she doesn’t want to lose him. It rather pathetic, really.
Unfortunately, there are far too many real life situations in which women feel trapped in abusive relationships because they genuinely love their abuser. Apparently, this movie cuts much too close to the bone for some advocates of battered women. In fact, one women’s advocacy group changed the movie poster title from Fifty Shades of Grey to “Stalker, Manipulative, Abusive, Ignores Safe Words, Controlling, Ignores Consent, Jealous, Threatening.”
Gee. He sounds like a real keeper. NOT.
Some women’s support groups suggest donating $50.00 towards your local battered women’s shelter instead of paying to see this offal. Even the S & M community is decrying the movie, complaining that what it portrays is unrealistic and abusive, even among their crowd!
There is a particularly foul, aggressive, addicting demonic influence associated with pornography which only gets stronger with time. It wrecks marriages and lives, so beware of the danger it poses. Consider it to be as destructive as any hardcore street drug! If you’re struggling with a porn addiction, you know deep down it is wrong, grieves the Lord God and torments your spouse.
Swallow your pride and seek out a qualified Pastor or Christian counselor to help you overcome this millstone around your neck. There is deliverance through Jesus Christ. Time to grow up! You’ll feel much better and your real life relationship with your spouse will vastly improve. What you’re doing is not fair to them. Been there—lived that. It was devastating.
In the meantime, stay away from the satanic influence of this cinematic excrement. The days are far spent and Jesus is at the door, ready to bring His Bride home. What on earth would you say if He came back while you were watching such garbage?? It’s best to do what Paul told us:
“Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:17-18 (KJV)
Celebrate this Valentine’s Day with gusto, and make sure your spouse knows without a doubt they are loved and cherished. Use your imagination and be romantic. Heck, swing from the chandelier if you want to! Just be sure to keep your marriage bed undefiled before the Lord.