Humor – The Need for a Few New Words :: By Mike Ecklund

Every day a new story appears, a shock to our psyche that denies explanation but cries out for some way to define and categorize the event. In an effort to help those of us searching for words to describe things that have no reasonable dictionary equivalent, I have attempted to add a few to the Webster’s of the world (pronunciation is left up to you).

Alendotactomy: The loaning of money by governments to other governments for the sole purpose of: political favor with no hope of the taxpayers ever seeing it repaid.

Barakadidimus: The president’s ability to always show himself in the best light, regardless of circumstances

Carodoloctome: To do self-harm socially or politically by an accidental verbal faux pas, ie. cutting one’s own throat.

Dilaqueateous: An unusually rapid ability to text with both thumbs.

Erathemofladepeous: Going to extreme lengths to avoid the un-avoidable, ie. doomsday preppers phenomenon.

Flindipity: Being gullible to the obvious because of ignorance.

Francaleptian: Refusing to accept the obvious because of innate stubbornness and stupidity.

Grantactamicity: Government funding of what the common man would consider a waste of time and effort.

Horrorgraphitis: The increasingly rare repugnance to lewd and pornographic media.

Iridicisomus: A transparent personality or idea.

Jaractamoso: An over-inflation of ego.

Kalacatomos: A blank stare due to the content of a conversation being over one’s ability to understand.

Used in conjunction to ‘orasamacass’ (see below).

Laropidiosity: The ability to intertwine events into one believable story regardless of truth.

Macrokedisia: Over emphasis of, hand gestures and body language when trying to make a point.

Natoventicular: Making a single countries problem a burden for the rest of the world through artificial guilt.

Orasamacass: Sleight of hand or the ability to disguise truth with oratory skill.

Peleopedicity: To cover ones tracks; or to hide evidence

Quadaciousness: To subtly belittle other opinions and views because of the speaker’s perceived superior education or intellect.

Vampamaineous: The extraordinary over-sexing of female vocal artist for presentation’s sake.

Xmantibular: The wearing down of opposing viewpoints by increasing speech volume, ie. Turning a conversation into a shouting match because you have no real argument.

Yancormarianism: Going along with a viewpoint, whether right or wrong because it is “politically correct” ie. to have someone else pull your strings.

Zitimathursa: An acceptable replacement for any common curse word, which has no real meaning.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real vocabulary word is totally accidental.