One of the most basic needs of human kind is to feel wanted. It is also one of the strongest.
Children long for the love of their parents. Parents may wonder if that need has vanished when their children become teenagers, but yes, the need is still there. Children may join gangs if that need is not being fulfilled at home. Why do they form small cliques of friends in schools? They need to feel wanted.
While love draws them, men and women marry basically to satisfy that need. A solid marriage will consist of two people (male/female) who make each feel wanted, because they are wanted. Each places the other’s feelings over their own in importance, a living example of unselfishness.
Why do some engage in sex outside of marriage (male/female)? One reason is obvious, but could it also be they just need to feel wanted? As Christians, we know that sex outside of marriage (male/female) is a sin against God and should not happen. So we are not condoning it, but maybe we should at least try to understand it.
I believe that God has placed within each human being a need to feel wanted. This need is to be satisfied between individuals through legitimate methods, such as marriage (male/female), and friendships. Ultimately, God desires to draw us to Him. Only in Him can this need reach its peak and never diminish.
Sometimes parents fail children, and they are deeply hurt. Sometimes friends fail friends, and hearts are bruised. Sometimes marriages fail, and a spouse is crushed by that feeling of not being wanted anymore.
Most of us remember when we were children and teams were being chosen for a game, let’s say baseball. The two best players would stand in front and take turns choosing who they wanted on their team. Two things often happen.
You want to be on a certain team. So you’re mentally saying, “Choose me, choose me!” You may or may not be chosen. If not, you feel rejected.
Even worse, everyone else has been chosen by the team leaders, and now you’re the only one left. You’re then reluctantly chosen, or told you aren’t needed.
Have you been shunned from being welcomed into a circle of friends because; you were “ugly,” or “fat,” or “poor,” or, of a different skin color, or not as intelligent, or even too intelligent, or not as talented, or too young, or too old, or not as well dressed, or ……..? Obviously, we could go on and on and on. Everyone has experienced rejection about something at least once in their life. It hurts. Why? Because we’re crying out inside, “Choose me, choose me!” but instead of being chosen, we are rejected, tossed aside like yesterday’s newspaper. We have that need to feel wanted, but often we receive rejection instead.
Whether speaking from the standpoint of a child or an adult, let’s say that we may accomplish something in our life that we are proud of. Maybe we don’t have as much talent as others, but we worked very hard. We did our best, and now feel a sense of accomplishment. It would be nice if someone would offer a compliment. A little recognition would go a long way, but forthcoming is nothing but silence or a quick nod.
Your ten year old comes to you with their test score. They did the best they could do, but you aren’t satisfied. Would that rejection make them feel unwanted? In a child’s mind, yes it probably would. You know they’re wanted, but they may not see it that way.
Thousands and thousands of elderly folk suffer from a deep sense of rejection by their own families. Their thankless children, grandchildren, great grandchildren go about their own lives, totally oblivious of their heartless attitude toward their own blood. I often wonder just how many of the elderly die more from loneliness than anything else. Suffering from a lack of no longer feeling wanted they are left with nothing to live for, so they die. Inside, the child in that old worn-out body is still crying out, “Choose me, choose me!” but no one is listening.
Yes, there are far more lonely people in this world than probably known, since the need for being wanted is usually hidden. If you are one of these, I want you to know that there is someone who wants you. You may be a child, an adult, or an adult in your last years of life, but there is someone who thinks you are important. There is someone who doesn’t care what you look like, what you wear, where you came from, how bad or good you may have been, how smart or dumb you may be, how you smell, or anything else. He wants you just the way you are, because you are important to Him. He loves you and desires to give you His undivided attention and much more. His name is Jesus.
Jesus wants you on His team. Before you ever formed the words in your mind, “Choose me, choose me!” He chose you. He died for you. He is alive in Heaven now, preparing a home for all who will come to His side and be on His team. He has so much love there is plenty to go around. There is always a never ending abundance.
I used to wonder how God could give me all of His attention when there are millions and millions who have come to Him over the last nearly seven thousand years. As a human, who can be in only one place at a time, I can’t explain it, except to say that since God is omnipresent, it doesn’t present a problem. In this life we experience His total devotion to us in our hearts and lives, and when in Heaven with Him, we will understand it completely.
Are you in Satan’s clutches and bound for hell? God chose you! Come stand on His side now. Are you a Christian beaten down by rejection? You’re already on His team! The Star of the team chose you! Enjoy!
“1And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him: 2And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying, 3Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. 5Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.6Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. 7Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. 8Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.9Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. 10Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. 12Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.” (Matthew 5:1-12)
“25Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: 26And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?” (John 11:25-26)