Isaiah 4:1

“And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, ‘We will eat our own food and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by your name, to take away our reproach.'”

I had a conversation with my brother just a few days ago, and we chatted about the lack of dating even in the Lord’s churches. The conversation was sparked from a chat about AI and his belief that soon, many men will simply turn to AI for their needs from a woman. There is a trend happening right now where men are simply not approaching women to date them. Over and over, there are stories of women in clubs, even on dating apps, and there is simply no interest.

One of the things we discussed is how there are organized ‘mixers’ for single men and women to meet, and there will be 20+ ladies showing up, and just a few men, 4 or 5, will turn up. And even then, there is little to no interaction. He mentioned that even in his local church, where there are many single young women and men, there is so little interaction it is scary.

The family is the foundation of a society and, as such, the foundation of the local church. Over the past 5+ decades, we have told young women that a career is more important than family; it is not enough to be a wife and mother; one must have a degree, a career, and make something of one’s self before settling down.

The same people did not remind women that the chance of getting pregnant past 35 years old is very slim, and thus, the chance to be a mother is slim. They get to that 30+ mark, the normal needs to be a wife and mother begin to scream, and they want a man, but it is often too late. Right now, 21% of women between 30-49 are single, and 29% between 50-64 are single. The overall sex ratio for unmarried adults in the U.S. is about 90 men per 100 women; the 30-to-34 age group had the highest ratio at nearly 121 men to 100 women in the U.S. A study from 2023 shows that 57% of singles are not looking to date at all. In 2021, a study showed that 52% of American women were single or separated. This is astonishing.

How does this impact our churches? Well, we know that when a home is spiritually led by the dad, over 90% of them follow the Lord and stay in church. This drops significantly with women-led homes. I do not care how often you knock on doors or do revivals and crusades; no manner of outreach has a 90% success rate. The only one that works like this is the family. So, when our young people put off marriage for school and education or for simply fun and a life with no commitments, churches die, and they die very quickly. The lifeblood of a local church is the family.

We are told here in Isaiah that there will come a time when women will ask one man to marry them; 7 of them will provide their own resources and simply need to be married. God put in us the need to be married. No matter what color, creed, culture, or background, there is a need to marry, to procreate, and the sex drive is there in all people.

Sadly, even in our churches, we have an epidemic of sexless marriages. In contrast, even in our churches, we have an epidemic of pre-marital sex with those who are dating. But men, many of them, are not seeking out women. They are too afraid of losing everything they worked for: their homes, money, and wealth. They are too afraid of having to care for another man’s children, as many single women come with kids nowadays. They would be paying the bills but have no say and no authority. This happens; I see it a lot.

Here in North America, we lied to young women, and the churches drank the Kool-Aid and told our young people to do everything but start a family. Every study and every metric tells us that married women with children are the happiest in North America. But the evil system of the Devil, who knew that 90% of kids born into Christian homes would follow Jesus, sold us a bill of goods, and we paid for it with our churches dying, our young people miserable, single, selfish, and living in sin.

AI will never replace real women. Pornography will never replace real women. Careers will never replace the joy of being a loving wife and mother. Single men make less than married men in general. And when a dad leads the home, not only do churches live, thrive, and grow, but society is better: less crime, fewer prisoners, less teenage pregnancy, fewer school dropouts, and fewer suicides. It is so hard to speak the truth; one sounds like an alien trying to communicate with earthlings. But the truth has not changed: men need women, women need men, children need both parents, and men need to work hard to provide for their families and lead their families to serve the Lord.

The fastest way to grow and sustain a church is for young men and women in that church to marry and to be fruitful and multiply. This is sustained growth; this is not to diminish the need for evangelism and outreach, far from it. Rather, a youthful church has both the able bodies and the able energy to go out and reach the lost. Kids are the lifeblood of a church. We need to find a way to get our young men and women marrying young once again and then having lots of babies.

The time will come when the single women will wish they had a man. I see a lot of them lamenting online. We have money and education, we are beautiful, and yet no men seem to want us. What did we miss? We forgot that there are no such things as independent men or women. God said it is not good for us to be alone. We need marriage, and we need to be sexually active in our marriages. Our children need to see mom and dad touching, kissing, wooing, and loving. Look at how God views marriage:

Proverbs 18:22– “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

Proverbs 19:14 – “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”

There are more verses. It looks to me as if God wants us to marry, have kids, and produce more and more people for the Kingdom. But to do that, we have to stop running our churches under the lies of society and follow Biblical rules. What a novel idea!

God bless you,

Dr. Sean Gooding

Pastor of Bethany Baptist Church

70 Victoria Street, Elora, Ontario

Matthew 28:18-20

“And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, ‘All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.’ Amen.”

Over the past decade or so, maybe a bit longer, there has been a rise in the ‘multi’ campus churches. These so-called churches have campuses all over the world sometimes. Here in Ontario, for instance, we have a division of the Elevation church; they have campuses in New York and other regions. Sadly, one of the breakdowns in modern Christianity has been the importance and scriptural position of the local church. Most people do not have a Biblical understanding of what a local church is, and I deliberately use the term ‘a local church.’ There is no such thing as ‘the local church.’ For sure, there is no scriptural support for the Universal church.

Of course, many Protestant ‘church’ groups came out of the Reformation and, as such, took on the Catholic view of church and churches. True ana-Baptists have never identified with Rome and, as such, are not Protestant; we already observed the doctrines that Luther espoused. The very word Catholic means Universal; thus, the view is that of the universal church that is subject to the head, the Pope. Many people do not know that, for the most part, you can attend a Catholic ‘church’ assembly anywhere in the world, and the lesson for that day, that time period, will be the same no matter what country or language you are in. Each individual congregation does not teach a lesson as the Lord leads for the benefit of the local group.

Sadly, many people do not understand the idea or the doctrine of the local church. Jesus established a local church; He called out a group of men (there were also ladies; read Luke 8) who funded a lot of His ministry, and He taught them the doctrines of the Old Testament. He empowered them to go out on short-term missions two by two. He had them come back and report their endeavors. He continued to fine-tune them, and then as He was leaving, He left them with what we call The Great Commission in Matthew 28:18-20.

As we venture into the New Testament, we will find churches at locations such as Ephesus, Philippi, Corinth, Rome, and the like. These all looked like the church in Jerusalem as far as doctrine was concerned, but they all had their own pastors and elders, sent out missionaries, and conducted business.

The word that we get church from is ‘Ekklesia’; this is a called-out (out from within the city) assembly with a purpose. Ironically, one of the best examples of this is in the book of Ruth. In Ruth 4: 1-4,

“Now Boaz went up to the gate and sat down there; and behold, the close relative of whom Boaz had spoken came by. So, Boaz said, ‘Come aside, friend, sit down here.’ So, he came aside and sat down. And he took ten men of the elders of the city, and said, ‘Sit down here.’ So, they sat down. Then he said to the close relative, ‘Naomi, who has come back from the country of Moab, sold the piece of land which belonged to our brother Elimelech. And I thought to inform you, saying, ‘Buy it back in the presence of the inhabitants and the elders of my people. If you will redeem it, redeem it; but if you will not redeem it, then tell me, that I may know; for there is no one but you to redeem it, and I am next after you.’ And he said, “I will redeem it.”

Here, Boaz is about to perform the duty of the Kinsman Redeemer; as such, he called together a city council of ten men. These men had the purpose of witnessing the redemption of Ruth and Naomi’s property and Boaz taking Ruth as his wife. These men are assembled, they have a purpose, and they conduct the business of the city. A local church is exactly the same; we assemble from within the city, and we conduct the business of the Kingdom of God on behalf of that city. Our purpose is Matthew 28:18-20, and this is the business that we do. In the same way, we are overseeing the work of Kinsman Redeemer, Jesus, who came to buy back and redeem us from Satan.

This may seem like a trivial thing, but consider that one of the issues that plagued the first church in Jerusalem was that of people not spreading out. God allowed persecution to come under the supervision of the Pharisees headed by Saul of Tarsus, and the Christians scattered and carried the Gospel to other cities. Thus, we have churches established throughout Asia Minor, Northern Africa, and into Europe. The Jerusalem church did have some initial ‘control’ over these other churches, but that was more oversight than anything else.

Eventually these churches had to live and breathe on their own, so to speak, and learn to obey the Lord and His leadership. A close look at the seven churches of Revelation will show us Jesus directly communicating with the ‘angels’ of these churches; we come to learn that the angels are the elders or, in our modern term, the pastors. Jesus led each individual church and either upbraided or commended them based on their obedience to Him. Jesus then established Himself as the Head of each local body. The pastor is never the head of a local church; he is an ‘under-shepherd’ and serves under Jesus who is the Head; see 1 Peter 5: 2-4:

“Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock; and when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.”

Imagine if these ‘super’ churches, instead of bleeding thousands out of communities, established local assemblies that conducted the Lord’s business, and instead of one super church, we had a congregation of 10,000 now split into 20 churches of 500 serving a local community with the authority of the sending church to do church in-service to their community. What if they had 30 churches of 300 in 30 communities serving those communities? And on we could go.

A local church, in many cases in North America, is between 75-100 and can be financially self-supporting and also support missionaries. But then pastors of 100 or so are not celebrity pastors, and no one offers them book contracts. When we get this way, church becomes a job and not a calling. Jesus called the apostles to be ‘fishers of men.’ He trained them and empowered them to do the work, and it was a lifetime calling (see John 21 and Jesus calling Peter back to the work of the Kingdom).

Pastor friend, if you are in obedience to the call of God — if you are leading the church you serve to obey Jesus, live like Jesus, follow Jesus, and obey the Great Commission, and you protect and preserve the simplicity of the Gospel — you are already famous with Jesus, the Chief Shepherd, and that should be enough. Lord, help it to be enough for me.

God bless you,

Dr. Sean Gooding
Pastor of Bethany Baptist Church
70 Victoria Street, Elora, Ontario