1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair

1970: The perfect high.
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

1970: Acid Rock.
2000: Acid Reflux.

1970: Moving to California because it’s cool.
2000: Moving to California because it’s warm.

1970: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your parents.
2000: Watching John Glenn’s historic flight with your children.

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

1970: Seeds and stems.
2000: Roughage.

1970: Our president’s struggle with Fidel.
2000: Our president’s struggle with fidelity.

Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone.

In a sleepy grumpy voice I said, “Hello.”

The party on the other end of the line paused for a moment before rushing breathlessly into a lengthy speech.

“Mom, this is Susan and I’m sorry I woke you up, but I had to call because I’m going to be a little late getting home. See, Dad’s car has a flat but it’s not my fault. Honest! I don’t know what happened. The tire just went flat while we were inside the theater. Please don’t be mad, okay?”

Since I don’t have any daughters, I knew the person had dialed my number by mistake.

“I’m sorry dear,” I replied, “but you’ve reached the wrong number. I don’t have a daughter named Susan.”

“Wow, Mom,” the young woman’s voice replied, “I didn’t think you’d be this mad.”