Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the M.C. that he desired a question on American History.

The big night had arrived. Bob made his way on stage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The M.C. stepped up to the mike.

“Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $64,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?”

Bob nodded with a cocky confidence-the crowd went nuts. He hadn’t missed a question all week. “Bob, your question on American History is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?”

Bob was now becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn’t believe it, but he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject, but he played it safe. “I’ll try the easier part first.”

The M.C. nodded approvingly. “Here we go Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half.”

The audience silenced with gross anticipation.

“Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?”

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

I’ve told you a million times not to exaggerate!

To be bad-mouthed by a fool is the same as getting compliments from a wise man.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Credit cards are a great way of spending money you wish you had.

How come none of these feminists have declared Satan is a woman, too?

Middle age is when you burn the midnight oil around 9:00 PM.

Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.

You KNOW technology has passed you by when you have a power outage and nothing you own is blinking.

It’s time for a change…and I have the remote.

The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished.

Experience is a hard teacher because it gives the test first and the lesson afterwards.

Winners make it happen, losers let it happen.

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Forget the health foods. I need all the preservatives I can get.

It is better to be over the hill than under it.

Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won’t spoil me.

Humor is not just a joke now and then. It’s a basic survival tool.

You know you’re getting old when beautiful young women start calling you “sweetie” and “honeybun.”

Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you if things go wrong.

Half of the people in the world are below average

A crisis is when you can’t say, “Let’s forget the whole thing.”

I’d rather regret something I did, rather than something I didn’t do.

He who cuts corners will soon find himself going around in circles.