Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai.

After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai.”Demonstrate your skills!” commanded the Emperor.

The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!

“What a feat! said the Emperor. “Number Two Samurai, show me what you do.”

The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!*Swish!* The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.

“That is skill!” nodded the Emperor. “How are you going to top that, Number three Samurai?”

Number Three Samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward, opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh!* flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room.

But the fly was still buzzing around!

In disappointment, the Emperor said, “What kind of skill is that? The fly isn’t even dead.”

“Dead, schmead,” replied the Jewish Samurai. “Dead is easy. Circumcision… THAT takes skill!”

A minister and a cab driver pass away and are waiting at the pearly gates with Saint Peter.

Saint Peter asks the cab driver, “What is your name and where do you do for a living?”

The cab driver says, “My name is Phil and I’m a cab driver.” Saint Peter lets him in and gives him a silk robe and a golden staff.

Then the minister steps up and says “My name is David and I’m a minister.”

Saint Peter lets him in and gives him a burlap robe and a wooden staff. And the minister asks,

“Why do I get a wooden staff and burlap robe, while he gets the good stuff?”

Saint Peter replies, “While you preached, people slept.”

“While he drove, people prayed.”