You Know You’re Having a Bad Day When…

Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell’s Angels motorcyclists.

Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

You have to sit down to brush your teeth in the morning.

Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party.

Your income tax refund check bounces.

It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it.

You wake up and your braces are stuck together.

Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.

You put both contacts in the same eye.

Your mother approves of the girl you are dating.

Your doctor tells you that you’re allergic to chocolate.

You have to borrow from your Visa card to pay your Mastercard.

Nothing you own is actually paid for.

Everyone loves your driver’s licence picture.

The health inspector condems your office coffee maker.

You invite the peeping Tom in…and he says no.

The Gypsy fortune teller offers to refund your money.

People think that you’re 40 and you’re only 35.

You call your wife and tell her that you’d like to eat out tonight and when you get home, you find a sandwich on the front porch.

You start to put on the clothes that you wore home from the party last night…and there aren’t any.