Famous Women Quotes

I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb… and I also know that I’m not blonde. [Dolly Parton]

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. [Erica Jong]

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. [Rita Rudner]

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. [Rita Rudner]

I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. [Wendy Liebman]

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. [Erma Bombeck]

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. [Sue Grafton]

I’m not going to vacuum ’till Sears makes one you can ride on. [Roseanne Barr]

I think – therefore I’m single. [Lizz Winstead]

“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.” [Elayne Boosler]

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” [Maryon Pearson]

“I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.” [Gilda Radner]

“In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.” [Margaret Thatcher]

“I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.” [Marie Corelli]

“Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.” [Baroness Edith Summerskill]

“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?” [Linda Ellerbee]

“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” [Zsa Zsa Gabor]