It is great that you want to resolve your marital problems. Too many marriages dissolve in divorce because people are unwilling to resolve issues as they arise. Instead, they let the issues fester into wounds that are perceived to be beyond healing. But, if you are a child of God you know that all things are possible through Him.
If you and your husband have a faith in Christ, then you have a great foundation. You should pursue counseling by asking your minister, or someone else you can trust, for a recommendation for a Christian counselor. Be very careful to select a Christian marriage therapist because, as you know, Satan wants to destroy your marriage.
If you and your husband are not Christians, this is the time that God has set aside for you to become consecrated unto Him. He wants to come into your life and your marriage and heal all of the parts that are injured or broken. He will heal your hurts, your anger, and your discouragement; then He will restore your love. But, you have to allow Him. You can do that by asking Him to forgive you for trying to do it on your own for so long and asking Him to come into your lives, your hearts and your marriage and begin the healing process. He will!
Nothing will solidify your marriage more than strengthening your walk with the Lord together. Turn to Him; trust Him. He won’t let you down.
Here is something else to think about. 99.99999% of the time, the cause for problems in a marriage is due to sin. Sin is a fancy word for not doing things the way God would. We can sin in our thoughts, actions, and speech. The first step to solving any problem is to define what the problem is. Once this is done, the solution then becomes tactical and prescriptive. The following are some verses to ponder. As you read them, I challenge you to ask the Lord to speak to your heart.
Is there something in your life that needs to changed? If so, then ask the Holy Spirit (God’s precious spirit) to lay it upon your heart. For those who have asked Jesus into their hearts, the Holy Spirit teaches us to be more like God (Jesus) and gives us a heavy feeling in our hearts when we have done something wrong (sinned).
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.” (Proverbs 3:5-7)
“Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” (1 Peter5:6-8)
“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians4:11-13)
Let’s take the first passage of Scripture in Proverbs. Have you trusted the Lord with all your heart? When you plan things out, do you pray about these plans? Case in point, when I was presented the opportunity to interview for a job I told the head hunter that I would get back to him within a week. I prayed about the matter. I set aside time that I normally would have used to do other things (eating, watching t.v., etc.) and prayed about what the Lord would have me do. Within a week’s time, I had my answer. When we pray about something, an answer from the Lord does not always come immediately. Which leads us to the second verse listed.
Humility: What a word! Are you willing to apologize? Are you willing to lay things out before the Lord and seek His direction? If so, then the Lord will lift you up in due time. If you try to do things on your own, notice in the passage of Scripture from I-Peter who is out to get you; the Devil. Commit to the Lord your concerns and He will take care of the rest.