There is a common teaching among Christians that claims we are to offer unconditional forgiveness to all who do evil against us (and others), followed by reconciliation. Some teach that we are to allow this cycle of offense, forgiveness, then reconciliation to continue forever (70 times 7). Is this really what Jesus commands us to do?

To forgive sin under all circumstances, unconditionally, and to reconcile with the unrepentant offender communicates a false gospel. It is not biblical. This is not what God does, nor is it what He commands us to do. However, to be unforgiving of sins against us by others also communicates a false gospel. So what is a believer to do?

In an attempt to answer these questions, I ask you to consider forgiveness and reconciliation in the most radical sense in order to put these teachings into perspective. Cast off petty offenses such as forgetting to bring a pie to a long-ago Christmas dinner or being late for an appointment. Instead, think of something truly wicked that has been done to you, or to someone you love, not unknowingly, but with premeditation and malice a situation in which you have come face to face with evil. With that in mind, imagine the perpetrator pridefully denying his or her wrongdoing and refusing to repent, yet demanding your forgiveness and reconciliation because, “After all, you are a Christian, and this is your obligation.” Now what?

Forgiveness Defined
Before we delve into the subject, let’s determine what forgiveness really means. Some definitions include:

Merriam-Webster Dictionary: To pardon, absolve
To give up resentment of
To grant relief from payment of
Strong’s Hebrew Definition: salach (saw-lakh)
To forgive:–forgive, pardon, spare
Strong’s Greek Definition: aphiemi (af-ee-ay-mee)
To cry, forgive, forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go, have), omit, put (send) away, remit, suffer, yield up

Perhaps it is more helpful to define what forgiveness is NOT.

Forgiveness is not ignoring, disregarding, tolerating, excusing, overlooking, or closing one’s eyes to the sin of another person. It is not simply letting time pass after the offense has been committed and then “getting over it.” It is not resigning one’s self to the other person’s sinful actions by saying, “Well, that’s just the way s/he is and I”m stuck with her/him for life, so I’ll just accept it.” It is not letting things “roll off our backs”or agreeing to make a “fresh start” without confronting the problem. To engage in these behaviors not only condones sin, but also perpetuates it, and as Christians, we are forbidden to do so.

The Biblical Model of Forgiveness
Jesus himself gave us a three-step model of forgiveness among believers in the Gospel of Luke. He said: “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him” (Lk. 17:3-4) (emphasis added).

Step One: Rebuke — Jesus clearly tells us that if a “brother,” meaning a believer, sins against us, we are first to rebuke him. What does this mean? To rebuke is to criticize sharply, to reprimand. This plays nicely into the Christian principle of speaking the truth in love. To rebuke a brother is not an act done with a hateful or prideful heart. No. In fact, it could easily be compared to the behavior of a loving mother correcting her child for a behavior that will bring harm to her child and/or others. She may raise her voice and speak sternly, but she does so with a loving heart and tongue. We are to rebuke our brothers privately, and with humble hearts.

Step Two: Repentance — Jesus tells us that our forgiveness is conditional upon the brother’s repentance after the rebuke. To repent in the broad biblical sense is to turn away from sin. Repentance is not simply a reform of one’s behavior, although genuine repentance ultimately results in reformed behavior. Instead, repentance is the sincere feeling of remorse, and a heartfelt search for forgiveness. A believer does not get to that place without first feeling the burden of Holy Spirit conviction. The natural response of a believer to Holy Spirit conviction is acknowledgement that one has sinned, followed by true remorse and repentance. The kind of repentance God demands, knowing the interaction of the indwelling Holy Spirit with His children, is one that has visible results to others: fruits. The great Apostle Paul discussed his gospel with King Agrippa, saying “that they should repent and turn to God, doing works worthy of repentance” (Acts 26:20). Also, John the Baptist said, “Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance” (Lk. 3:8). True repentance is always evident and visible through the changed hearts and fruit bearing works of the repentant. That kind of transformation is evident to believers and unbelievers alike. It’s obvious to all who interact with the person and witness his or her daily conduct. Jesus gives us more insight into this dilemma when he spoke these words:

“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Mat. 18:15-20).

In the practical and relational sense, repentance begins with the offender recognizing his or her wrongdoing. This recognition always includes an admission of guilt to the offended party. The person who has committed the offense is required to confess the wrongdoing and express remorse to the offended person for the sinful acts. Afterwards, the offender is to make a commitment not to repeat the offense. Ultimately, the purpose of this process is to express guilt and remorse to the offended person in an attempt to gain forgiveness so that the two people can repair the relationship. Without this process being fulfilled in its entirety, forgiveness is impossible.

Step Three: Forgiveness — If the first two steps have been completed, and the fruits of sincere repentance have been observed, Jesus commands the offended party to forgive his brother, as He has forgiven us.

What about the unbeliever?
This is what the Scriptures say about how we are to conduct ourselves among unbelievers:

“After these things the Lord appointed other seventy also, and sent them two and two before his face into every city and place, whither he himself would come. Therefore said he unto them, The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest. Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves. Carry neither purse, nor scrip, nor shoes: and salute no man by the way. And into whatsoever house ye enter, first say, Peace be to this house. And if the son of peace be there, your peace shall rest upon it: if not, it shall turn to you again. And in the same house remain, eating and drinking such things as they give: for the labourer is worthy of his hire. Go not from house to house. And into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you, eat such things as are set before you: And heal the sick that are therein, and say unto them, The kingdom of God is come nigh unto you. But into whatsoever city ye enter, and they receive you not, go your ways out into the streets of the same, and say, Even the very dust of your city, which cleaveth on us, we do wipe off against you: notwithstanding be ye sure of this, that the kingdom of God is come nigh unto you. But I say unto you, that it shall be more tolerable in that day for Sodom, than for that city” (Lk. 10:1-12).

We must be very careful here because we are commanded never to judge the hearts of others with regard to their salvation. To do so would be assuming godship, which is a sin. Even so, the Lord has given us permission, in Holy Spirit discernment, to shake the dust from our sandals and to move on, when we don’t meet with peace in His name. God has given us specific instruction in this regard, and we should obey His words. He even warns us about how we are to interact with unbelievers: in wisdom and with gentleness; to be in the world but not of the world, because we are His chosen, and are set apart as the salt and light of the world. He explains this concept in the following passage:

“Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is” (Eph. 5:6-11).

Back to the Original Issue of Forgiveness
Unconditional forgiveness is canceling a debt to all those who intentionally offend us, whether or not they own up to what they have done and repent. Offering forgiveness without repentance, however, does not follow the biblical model of forgiveness, as previously outlined in Luke 17:3-4.

The Bible says we are to forgive as God forgave us. It is written in Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you,” and Colossians 3:13 states, “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”

However, God withholds His forgiveness until we repent: “And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel” (Mk. 1:15). “I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish” (Lk. 13:3-5). “Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19).

God does not grant forgiveness to those of us who continue to act with prideful arrogance against Him, and against our brothers and sisters in Christ. We must recognize our sin and repent to receive and enjoy God’s merciful forgiveness. We must exhibit this same behavior in our relationships in the Body. God requires repentance and so must we.

An unrepentant person maintains a false sense of control over his life through pride, which inevitably leads to destruction, violence, and animosity. This is because an unrepentant heart is conceived in the child of the devil: “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate” (Prov. 8:13). “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall” (Prov. 16:18). “A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit” (Prov. 29:23).

Turning toward God is necessary to break the cycle of destructive behaviors and patterns of relating to others. If, as believers, we don’t require repentance on the part of the offender, we stand in the way of that person coming to see his or her need for God and experiencing His forgiveness. To put it simply, forgiveness is a two-way process: repentance on the part of the offender and pardon on the part of the offended.

How To Deal with the Unrepentant
The ultimate purpose of forgiveness is the healing of a relationship. This healing occurs only when the offender repents and demonstrates remorse, and when the offended one grants a pardon and demonstrates loving acceptance.

When the offender does not take the first step, we have no other choice but to exercise inward forgiveness for the sake of our own peace of mind and tranquility. This is when we choose to no longer be a party to the unfavorable emotions we experience when we think of the malicious behavior.

Although we are not required to forgive the unrepentant offender, we are commanded to pray that our enemies would come to repentance, especially of their sins before Christ, if they are not saved. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matt. 5:44-48).

Outward forgiveness, in the case of an unrepentant offender, is something we turn over to God himself. Outwardly, only God can extend forgiveness to our enemies. This is a burden He gladly accepts on our behalf if we will simply allow Him to deliver us from the pain of this burden.

The social rules that govern secular society have been rewritten to make it a political requirement for public figures to view all religions on the same level. Anyone who says the God of the Bible is superior to some other god is branded as a bigot.

Pope Benedict XVI learned this lesson well when he quoted Emperor Manual II Paleologos of the Byzantine Empire, who said: “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached.”

The media raked Pope Benedict over the coals for making such an inflammatory remark. The press deliberately failed to mention that the Byzantine Empire was later sacked and crushed by Islamic Sultan Meh Meh, Islam was spread by the sword to Byzantium, and the great church of Hagia Sophia was turned into a mosque.

It only took a few days before the Pope was singing a new tune. Since his little public relations mishap, he has met with several Islamic leaders to patch things up.

Conservative commentator Ann Coulter got herself into similar hot water with Jewish groups when she said the Jewish people needed to “perfect” themselves by becoming Christians. On a Fox News program, she said Jews need to receive Jesus as their Messiah to gain this perfection.

The Anti-Defamation League condemned Coulter for her “anti-Semitic comment” and reaffirmed the spirit of ecumenism by saying it is wrong to “espouse the idea that Judaism needs to be replaced with Christianity and…Christian supersessionism has been rejected by the Catholic Church and the vast majority of mainstream Christian denominations.”

The Bible does indeed have a superiority complex. All Christians, knowing that Christ is the only source of perfection, should plead guilty to this offense. If Paul were making the following statement today, it would set off intolerance alarms: “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved” (Acts 4:12).

President Playing Footsy with Foreign Faiths
The ecumenical movement has reached all the way to the White House. There once was a time when the President of the United States would never dare meet with the representative of a non-Christian faith. Today, if the Dalai Lama stops by, the White House staff rolls out the red carpet.

The past three presidents have all been chummy with the world’s key faiths. President George Bush has gone the farthest, saying, “Whether they be Muslim, Christian, or any other religion, [They all] pray to the same God.”

Bush’s prayer comment has been the final straw for many evangelical conservatives. This article is the result of a flood of email I received after he made the remark I just quoted. Gary Bauer, president of American Values, said Bush’s comment was “not helpful to the president. Since everybody agrees he’s not a theologian, he would be much better advised to punt when he gets that kind of question.”

The Problem of Incompatibility
You probably think you already know how I’m going to answer the question in the title of this article. But instead of answering that question with “no,” I thought of another way to arrive at the same point by saying, “Yes, all religions do pray to the same God.” This a true statement because there is no other God to hear our prayers, save the God of the Bible.

Someone who prays to Allah has our Lord as the only listener. Muslims who ask Mr. Allah to kill all the Jews and Christians might want to know why their prayers are never answered.

The real problem is that the god of Islam and the God of the Bible are incompatible. The Christian God encourages freedom, love, forgiveness, prosperity and health. The Muslim god appears to value the opposite. The Koran says that on Judgment Day Jesus will refute the idea that He is the Son of God. The Bible says that every knee will some day bow to Him.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).

A Dead-End Path
Many people claim that all roads lead to God. That is as silly as saying that all roads lead to Omaha, Nebraska. Jesus taught that there was only one highway that leads to God. Without the road map of the Holy Spirit, it is impossible to find one’s way to redemption.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matt 7:13-14).

A non-Christian may try to live a life devoted to God, but that person fails by not accepting the sacrifice of Christ. If he or she does not accept Christ’s payment for his or her sins, then no amount of personal piety will be enough to atone for those sins. The Word of God says, “He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God” (John 3:18).

Mormons and Jehovah Witnesses are in no better shape. They claim to represent the Christian faith, but they reject Jesus as the true Son of God. Paul warned us that there would be false Christian sects.

Judaism and Christianity pray to the same God, but there is a problem with the fact that the Jews also reject Christ, or what Paul called a “stumbling block.” I have a problem with Christian leaders who promote the idea that God has a dual salvation plan for the Jews and Gentiles.

Christianity Always Comes Up Short
One of the most irritating things about this effort to make all religions equal is the fact that Christianity always end up with the short end of the stick. Believers in Christ are constantly asked to make room for other faiths, but I don’t recall any Islamic nations offering to do the same thing.

In Britain, a think tank for the Labor party suggested that Christmas be downgraded in favor of festivals from other religions in order to improve race relations. There is zero chance that the Muslim world will ever choose to downgrade Ramadan to oblige their minor faiths.

Since most faiths are so fundamentally opposed to each other, one might wonder why there is this effort to have a love fest between all religions. After 9/11 and a host of other terrorist attacks by Islamists, you would think that Mohammedism would be viewed as a pariah faith in western eyes. The answer to this quandary is Bible prophecy.

The Harlot Church
In the last days, the Antichrist will be the ultimate peacemaker who will unify all religions into a single organization that he will control. The only people who will not fit into the Antichrist’s “harlot” church will be the true believers.

“And there came one of the seven angels which had the seven vials, and talked with me, saying unto me, Come hither; I will shew unto thee the judgment of the great whore that sitteth upon many waters: With whom the kings of the earth have committed fornication, and the inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her fornication. So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet colored beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns. And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet color, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication: And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH. And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration” (Rev. 17: 1-6).

The Prayer That Always Gets Answered
You can pray to any god you want, but there is only one emissary between man and the Holy Father. The flaw of every other religion is that not one can promise you eternal life. Jesus died for every person on this planet, and all we need to do to receive the gift of eternal life is place our trust in Him.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son (John 3:16-18).