Ron Graham was called home on March 14, 2013. He began writing this commentary before his death and had asked me, Nathele Graham, to continue his service to our Lord by finishing what he began.

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Training a child to be an adult takes love and patience. If you want that child to grow to love the Lord then you need to lead by example.

“And thou, Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: if thou seek him, he will be found of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever” (1 Chronicles 28:9).

There is no doubt that King David loved the Lord. Like all humans David made mistakes, but he knew where his strength came from and where to turn for forgiveness. When you read the Psalms you can feel David’s love for God. Even when things weren’t going his way, he took his anger and sorrow to God and always ended in praise. When David was near death he spoke the above words to Solomon who would become king over Israel.

David didn’t tell his son to serve the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but to serve “the God of thy father.” David knew God, served God, and loved God. He could tell Solomon to “serve the God I serve” because Solomon saw his father serving the LORD. Solomon had the example of a godly father who made mistakes but turned God for forgiveness. David was a man after God’s own heart and wanted that for Solomon.

David’s desire was that his son would know and love God as he did. This should be the desire of every father for his children. Christian fathers need to lead by example and serve God so that their children can learn by watching. The children of a Christian father should be able to look at him and see how a man of God conducts his life. Brother, do you love your wife?

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Ephesians 5:25).

This verse doesn’t say to love her as long as she pleases you. No, you are to love her unconditionally, even in the bad times.

“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself” (Ephesians 5:28).

If you love your wife following God’s Word then you are setting an example for your son to follow. Show him how he should love his wife, and then pray he follows your example. Your daughters will also see how you treat your wife and when they choose a husband they will use you as the standard. Be sure that Christ is first in your life. Let your children see you studying God’s Word and pray with them and for them. Show them how to “serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind” as David advised his son.

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Colossians 3:21).

Children can be very aggravating. They seem to know how to push the right buttons to cause trouble, but they are just children and need to be led. Do you push their buttons? Do your words encourage them or do they provoke them? In the above verse the words “to anger” were added in the translation; the verse simply says not to provoke your children. The Greek word athymeō is translated “discouraged” and means to be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit. Fathers, be the godly example of a loving father and don’t discourage your children. A discouraged child will grow into a discouraged adult, and a cycle of discouragement will result.

Another strong leader was Joshua. He served as a military leader under Moses and he looked to God for guidance; Joshua’s confidence was in the Lord. It was Joshua and Caleb who were not afraid of the Nephilim they saw in the Promised Land. Yes, the Nephilim were truly giant in stature, but Joshua knew that God would lead in the battle and those giants didn’t have a chance. Moses made the mistake of listening to the 10 spies who were fearful, so the Israelites wandered for 40 years in the wilderness.

Had Moses listened to Joshua the nation of Israel would have entered the land promised to them by God without suffering the troubles they faced in their wanderings. When Moses died the leadership fell to Joshua who led the Israelites to victory in the land promised to them by God. Joshua was a God-fearing and God-honoring example to his family and his household. He was a man who relied upon the one true God and refused to worship idols. When he came to the end of his life he called the leaders of the tribes of Israel together for a meeting. He reminded them of what God had done for them and earnestly told them to not worship pagan idols but worship only the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Fathers, do you worship idols? We mostly think of idols as the statues and such that pagan cultures worship. In fact, an idol is anything that you place ahead God. It can be a television program that mocks Christian values or it can be a friendship that you hold onto but it is pulling you away from serving Christ. How can you be an example to your children of a godly man if you tell them their music is ungodly yet you listen to hard rock or rap with words that are right from Satan? Joshua was able to say with full confidence that his household would serve the Lord because he had set the example.

“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD” (Joshua 24:15).

Brothers, do you have that confidence? Can you say without a shadow of doubt that your family will serve the Lord? Joshua was a godly leader, not a follower of Satan. Christian men of today need to be the strong godly leaders of their family and eschew all idols.

The best fatherly advice comes directly from God. Jesus had taken Peter, John, and James with Him to a high mountain top where He met with Elias and Moses. The disciples were amazed at what they saw and heard. They saw the Transfiguration. Of course Peter spoke without thinking. He wanted to build three tabernacles, but God spoke the words we all should heed.

“And there was a cloud that overshadowed them: and a voice came out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloved Son: hear him” (Mark 9:7).

The Greek word nephelē which is translated “cloud” doesn’t refer to just any cloud. This reference is to the cloud which led the Israelites in the wilderness. There is no doubt that the voice was from God the Father. We would all do well to heed God’s words “This is my beloved Son: hear him.” These words spoken by God the Father are a command, not a suggestion. To be a Godly leader, brothers, follow this admonition. Hear Jesus and serve Him.

There are many children who do not have a godly father living in their homes. Whether their father has died or there is some other reason that he is absent makes no difference, he is still absent. Perhaps the father is living in the home but not a Christian. The absence of a strong, loving Christian father in the home is sad, but God the Father is there for all who are willing to seek Him.

As a Christian man, if you know a child who does not have the influence of a godly father who loves and serves the Lord, you need to step in and be the example they need. Help to train up that child in the way he or she should go; you may be the person who makes a difference in the life of a discouraged and angry child. Show them Jesus’ love through caring about them.

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me” (John 14:6).

You may be the only one who can show a child how to receive eternal life.

Fathers, when you look back on your life can you, like David, tell your children to “…know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind…” Will they recognize that you are talking about the one true God because He has been real in your life? Like Joshua can you say with confidence “…but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD”?

If you do not earnestly serve the Lord then you cannot have any real hope that your children will serve Him. Be the example your children can look to as the way in which they should serve the Lord. Don’t provoke them to anger. Don’t discourage them. Be sure that they know who Jesus Christ is and what He has done for them.

[Jesus said,] “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all they soul, and with all they mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment” (Mark 12:30).

Live these words and be the example.

In spite of Joshua’s words and confidence that his house would serve the Lord, the nation of Israel has been guilty of idol worship many times and ultimately rejected their Messiah. Solomon failed miserably even though he was admonished to serve the true God who his father David served. He eventually seems to have come to understand his father’s words because he wrote:

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

A father cannot control the person a child will grow into. He can only be an example to his children of how a man of God is to act. Start today to be the man of God you were meant to be and start training up your children in God’s ways.

God bless you all,

Nathele Graham

Ron Graham was called home on March 14, 2013. He began writing this commentary before his death and had asked me, Nathele Graham, to continue his service to our Lord by finishing what he began.

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“I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness” (John 12:46).

The Greek word meno can be translated as: “abide, tarry, remain continually, and endure.”

As followers of Jesus Christ we are to remain (abide) steadfastly in His light. There should be no variance or movement out of the light into darkness. Jesus came into this dark and fallen world to bring light. We who call ourselves Christian are to allow His light to shine through us and not cloak it in darkness. It seems, though, that Christians are abiding less and less in the light of Jesus and embracing the darkness more and more.

Temptations are all around us. Living in this fallen world means we need to be ever on our guard to avoid the darkness in which the enemy would have us abide. Satan and his minions use temptation to lure us away from the straight and narrow path that is lit by the light from Jesus. How do we cope? How can we abide in the light when the darkness is so tempting?

“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7).

Resist that liar Satan, and abide in the light of truth found in Jesus. Make choices based upon God’s Word rather than taking the path of least resistance and aligning yourself with darkness. The enemy doesn’t have a chance when you submit your life to God.

As Christians we are not only to avoid abiding in the darkness but we are to avoid even the appearance of darkness in our life.

“Abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22).

This is good advice and should be taken to heart. The born-again believer in Christ has an awesome responsibility to honor Him in all we say and do. We represent Christ and therefore we are to hold ourselves above even the appearance of darkness and evil. By the way, Christians need to know what constitutes the appearance of evil. The Bible is our authority, and makes it clear what is light and what is darkness. Since the beginning God has not changed His view of right and wrong. His truth is found in His Word because He wants you to know the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Study your Bible and apply it to your life.

Our entertainment industry is one of the main places where darkness reigns. Years ago I made the decision to stop watching television programming. The programs were filled with evil and by watching them I was not only stepping out of the light, but I was embracing the darkness. I have heard people talk about the plots of television programs and am sickened by what passes as entertainment.

Soap operas, which have always been vulgar, now embrace homosexuality as normal and mock Christian values. Talk shows focus on sexual conquests and mock Christian values. Sitcoms make a joke of families and mock Christian values. Dramas embrace the sexual idolatry that God’s Law call an abomination, and they mock Christian values. Award shows include Satanic rituals and other things that are pure evil, and mock Christian values. How can Christians invite this filth into their homes on a daily basis? Is that abiding in the light? No, it isn’t.

“And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil” (John 3:19).

Isn’t it odd that Christians say they don’t have time to study the Bible? They spend hours watching sin-filled television shows but don’t have a few minutes to spend with Jesus. Instead of abiding in the Light they embrace the darkness. Does God notice this?

“The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good” (Proverbs 15:3).

This truth alone should be enough to shame every Christian to make better choices as to how we spend our time.

Our friends and family can only laugh at our feeble words, “I am a Christian,” when we don’t submit every part of our being to Him. How can we be His light to the lost if we are stepping back and forth in and out of darkness?

“He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked” (1 John 2:6).

What would Jesus do?

That is a question that should rule every step in the life of a Christian. He gave His life to purchase our salvation, yet we take His sacrifice for granted when we continue to abide in darkness and embrace sin.

Sexual sin is an area where the powers of darkness are trying to blur the truth and overshadow the light of God’s truth. Homosexuality is not the only abhorrent sexual sin that is commonplace today. God holds marriage in high esteem, yet adultery and pre-marital sex are the norm in today’s society. Brethren, this is not normal, this is embracing Satan’s darkness. If you are a part of sexual misconduct then you are not abiding in the light. People don’t seem to be embarrassed when their infidelities become publically known.

Under normal circumstances, fornicators (those who join in any sexual act other than within a one man/one woman marriage) would be outcast until they had repented (turned away from their sin) and asked for forgiveness. Today fornication seems to be commonplace and accepted.

Where’s the outrage from God’s people?

God’s Word is not held as truth and instead of abiding in the light, many Christians embrace the darkness. The Ekklesia (the called out body of Christ) has even allowed the darkness to manifest itself right inside the sanctuary. Darkness can only enter when God’s light is switched off. God’s Word is true and unchanging but even Christians erroneously try to change the light of God’s Word to conform to the darkness of this world, thus turning off God’s light. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that we have grown to a higher way of living. God takes this and every sin seriously.

Abide in the light of God’s Word and don’t allow darkness to overshadow it.

People invent a plethora of excuses in an attempt to condone their own sin. Once they stop abiding in the light, darkness begins to overtake them. They begin to flaunt their sin since they’ve been able to make it right in their own eyes. Then they begin look down on those who find it evil.

“But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Matthew 6:23).

How great indeed. Those who belong to Jesus must flee from even the slightest manifestation of evil in their lives. The next time you are tempted by darkness ask yourself this: “How will what I’m about to do glorify God?” Answer that question honestly. If it doesn’t glorify God, abstain. It’s that simple. Resist the devil and he will flee.

Many Christians have become lax in their attitude toward sin. Because of the influence of the world and the temptations put before us by those who are lost, many followers of Christ stumble and some make a habit of stumbling. We live in a fallen world and many people we spend time with are not Christian. Our jobs often require us to work side by side with those who live abhorrent lifestyles and who embrace the darkness, and that cannot be avoided. God knows this but Scripture says:

“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them” (Ephesians 5:11).

The Greek word “sygkoinōneō” is translated “fellowship” and means “to become a partaker together with others, or to have fellowship with a thing.” In other words, you might have to work with someone who embraces the darkness, but don’t make them a part of your life…don’t “hang out” with them.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

Abide in the light and pray that those who embrace darkness will see the light and come to know Jesus. Don’t be joined to the world. Since we’re only passing through to get to our permanent home we should keep that home continually on our minds. It should be our privilege and honor to lead others into the light of Christ while abstaining from all appearances of evil in our own life. How can we lead someone to the light of God if we don’t abide in it?

Abiding in the light means just that…live your life according to Jesus’ truth as found in the Bible. Don’t base your “theology” on what the History channel teaches, or what your friend thinks while watching the latest Katy Perry video. Jesus was and is the light of the world and Christians need to radiate His truth. If we want to bear fruit, we need to live in Him.

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing” (John 15:4-5).

As Christians, everything we do must reflect Jesus. We draw our strength to resist temptation directly from Him. Our boldness to share His gospel with someone living in darkness comes directly from Him. Live according to God’s Word and don’t become intertwined with those who abide in darkness. Be a light to them, but don’t yoke yourself with them. The lost can have a devastating effect on the saved if we let them. They may very well bring you down to a level that will be difficult, if not impossible, to separate from.

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

If we follow Paul’s admonition we shall find it much easier to abide in the light rather than to embrace darkness.

“And now, little children, abide in him; that, when he shall appear, we may have confidence, and not be ashamed before him at his coming” (1 John 2:28).

We will all see Jesus one day. If you do not abide in His light you will be ashamed of yourself when you see Him. Today is the day to turn from darkness and be in the light that Christ has ordained for you. Jesus Christ entered His creation in order to give us the opportunity to have eternal life with Him.

Don’t take that gift lightly. It is up to each person individually to accept His death, burial, and resurrection as payment of sin. Only then can you step out of the darkness and abide in the light…the light of Jesus Christ, Lord of lords and King of kings. There is salvation in none other.

God bless you all,

Ron & Nathele Graham