A man got a credit card bill stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away.

Next month he got another, did the same thing. The next month they sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his credit card if he didn’t send them $0.00.

He called them, talked to them, they said it was “a glitch” and told him they’d take care of it.

The following month he tried to charge something and couldn’t. He called the credit card company who again said they’d take care of it. The next day he got his bill for $0.00 stating that he was very delinquent.

The man figured the credit card company would take care of it, so he didn’t worry. The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had 10 day to pay or his account was going to collection.

He mailed the credit card company a check for $0.00, and the credit card company’s computer processed it, noting that his account was now paid in full.

A week later, the man’s bank called him asking him what he was doing writing a check for $0.00. He explained and they said, “Well, your $0.00 check has caused our check processing software to fail. We now can’t process ANY of our checks from that day electronically because that $0.00 check is causing the program to abort.”

The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

People are eating hot peppers to cool their mouths off.

People feel chilled when the temperature drops below 95°.

The best parking place is determined by shade, not distance.

Hot water now comes out of both faucets.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outdoors at 6:30AM!

You discover that asphalt has a liquid state.

Local restaurants serve hot coffee as a cold beverage.

You can fry eggs by holding the egg skillet out the window for a few minutes.