“I have an earache.”

2000 B.C. — Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. — That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. — That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. — That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. — That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. — That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

“I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look,” she said. “What’s your secret for a long life?”

“I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day,” he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.”

“That’s amazing,” the woman said. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six,” he replied.