An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer:
“As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say ‘$75.’
If his eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $50.’
Then, if his eyes still don’t flutter, you add ‘Each.’ “
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: “Did you actually see the accident?”
The witness: “Yes, sir.”
The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened?”
The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches.”
The lawyer (thinking he’d trap the witness): “Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?”
The witness: “Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some silly lawyer would ask me that question.”