Looking For A Good Seat

A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage.

He whispers to the usher, “This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip.”

The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. Yep. 25 cents.

The usher looks at the quarter in his hand, leans over and whispers, “The wife did it.”

Lousy Weather

Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Jasper had up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news.

He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he’d been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year.

That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.

He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job.

One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position.

Jasper wrote: “The climate didn’t agree with me.”