These are taken from actual résumés and cover letters:
* "I am a rabid typist."
* "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
* "Suspected to graduate early next year."
* "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
* "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
* "Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
* "After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."
* "As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."
* "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
* "Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."