Chapter 3
How To Win An Unsaved Husband
In First Peter three, one to seven, we have very careful directions by which a Christian wife may win her unsaved husband to Christ. There are many godly wives who bear great grief and suffer much because of unsaved husbands who oppose them and hinder their efforts for the salvation of their family. Some of these most opposing husbands have been won to Christ and have made fine, Christian husbands. They are often hard to live with because they are under conviction.
Let us not give them up till God gives them up. The faithful wife often asks, “How can I win my husband to Christ?” Let us follow the Apostle Peter in trying to answer this great question: First, she must win him by showing him all due respect and consideration. “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection (or submission) to your own husbands.” If she does not respect him as her husband and the head of the household in all matters not involving conscience, she cannot win him to Christ. A bossy, manish, nagging wife may drive her husband to hell, but she cannot win him to God. She must set the example before he can follow. She must win him as a wife before she can win him as a Christian.
In respecting her “own husband,’ she must avoid all appearances of undue familiarity with other men, good and bad, including her pastor. A pure, holy, Christian wife may let her desire for Christian companionship become a snare to her soul. That godless, brutish husband may take warning lest he drive his pure wife out of his own life into the arms of another lover. The pastor of such wives must be very careful lest he offend that unsaved husband and blight his own life. Let the wife see that she respect her husband at all costs, or she will never win him to Christ.
Second, by careful, holy living she may win him. “If some disbelieve, the Message, apart from the Message, they may be won over by the daily life of their wives, after watching your life daily — so full of reverence and blameless.” To live where all the desires and aims of the wife and husband disagree, requires much grace and patience. Sainthood makes it possible. Her husband may ignore the preacher and the Church, but the daily life of his godly wife rebukes his sin and invites him to Christ. “That they, without the word, may be won by behavior of their wives; beholding their chaste conversation coupled with fear.” Under pressure, she may occasionally have to say, “Forgive me, husband;” but when he cools off, he knows who was at fault. The trials may be many and hard, but when he falls at the altar, or calls her for prayer at midnight and prays though, she will be glad that she held on, kept up the family altar and was faithful to the Church. Living holy will accomplish miracles.
She is to win her husband by leaving off all worldly show and vanity. “Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of the plaiting of the hair, and the wearing of Gold, or the putting on of apparel.” Weymouth puts it: “putting on jewelry, or the wearing of beautiful dresses.” A woman who worships outward vanity more than God or her husband has little influence with either. If she mocks her piety with her vanity, he will do it with his heart and lips. If you will not give up your idols, he will not give up his. Leaving off all vanity and jewelry may offend his pride, but it will convict his conscience in harmony with the Word. You cannot grieve God to please your husband, and have God save your husband. God is first. When you drive God out, you drive your companion away. Plaiting or curling your hair, wearing jewelry and fine clothes are forbidden as a means to winning your husband to Christ. Many wives have driven their husbands from them and to hell by their costly vanity and pride. Many a woman has got the ring or dress she wanted, but lost her husband and family. Humility is the way to God and the heart of your husband.
She may win him by heavenly adornment and radiance. “But let it be the hidden man (woman) of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God is of great price” or value. It is not the show of vanity and pride, but the manifestation of humility and grace that gets the endorsement of God and your husband, and your own intelligent conscience. A radiant, quiet spirit in the hour of trial will do more to win your husband and family than all your frills, glitter of gold, and parade of fine clothes. Yes, the radiant, angel face of the martyr Stephen won the heart of Saul, the “chief of sinners.” “The ornament of a meek and quiet spirit” did it. This message is to “wives; “married women”. God makes no exception for them. A pure, incorruptible heart, and a meek and resigned spirit need no outer symbol of gold. An outer symbol of show of religion or loyalty are both insincere and repulsive to God and man. If the wife really loves Christ and her husband in her heart, her life of loving devotion will convince her husband without any outer show or labels. It is your countenance, words, deeds, attitudes that express your reality and convince your husband and please God. You may win him by following the examples of old-fashioned holy women of past ages.
The marks of humility, sainthood and devotion to God and others have been the same in alltimes and place. Listen: For after this manner the old time, holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection (submission) to their own husbands. Here Peter made asweeping statement : that holy women of all ages have adorned themselves in modest apparel without fussing with their hair,, or the wearing of jewelry or fine clothes. Women who “trust inGod” and conform to His standards are worthy of the trust of their husbands and all others. Whenthe heart is right, no outer reminders are necessary, but are repulsive. No husband ever praised his wife or children for their vanity and pride; but for their humility, modesty, purity, love, and devotion.
Sarah, the model mother of the Scriptures is held up as an example of true wives and mothers who reverence and respect their husbands and love and serve their families. A wife can never win her husband by putting him before God, but he must come next. She cannot stay away from Church or go with him to the sinful places of pleasure, but she must love and respect him if she is ever to win him to Christ. By prayer and simple, modest, pure, holy living she will make an impression on her husband and children that they will never forget not get away from in time or eternity, no matter how or where they spend either. If she is faithful, she will stand a good chance to win them to Christ and be rewarded by God as if she had, whatever they may do. May Godbless and give you faith and patience to triumph for God and your family.
Unsaved husband and children, why grieve your wife and mother and God Almighty, and blight and wreck your own lives and lose your souls? Why not yield your life to Jesus Christ and have a happy home here on earth, and an unbroken family circle in Heaven?